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current obsession

apart from deciding i am a Dweller (oh don't worry i'll explain at some point. book i just finished.) and trawling the internet for fan art (which doesn't exist) i am also trawling the internet to try and find a recipe for scaltheen, which is the whisky and butter concoction the (dublin based at least) hell fire club used to drink.

"In Ireland, before the days of Father Mathew, there used to be a favourite beverage termed scaltheen, made by brewing whisky and butter together. Few could concoct it properly, for if the whisky and butter were burned too much or too little, the compound had a harsh or burnt taste, very disagreeable, and totally different from the soft, creamy flavour required."

this sounds fascinating.

i have some cheap (not irish) whisky.
i have some butter.

what's the worst that could happen?

(and wouldn't boiling whisky remove the actual booze?)


deptford beach babes gig this friday!

facebook linky

8 - 11pm, bird's nest, deptford. (32 deptford church street)

support from the wattingers.




i mean, ok, cameron. SPEAK NO MORE.

but also - oooh! shiny! RATM will be supported by gogol bordello and roots manuva! (actually, was that even a ticket-holder vote? i dunno. either way, wheee! glad i have a ticket now. i *think* i have a ticket, anyway.)


May. 6th, 2010

argh, i may explode today.

in a mixture of nerves and excitement.

you can't say this election isn't hugely exciting. and also hugely terrifying.

by the time i get out of swing band i will be buzzing off election fever AND post-playing adrenalin. and that's before i get to bounce around to ROCK.

and at some point there'll be a result, and actual packing for ATP and oh god oh god oh god.

i need a pint.

n4 tales

i can highly recommend m shah dentist practice at 105 stroud green road. friendly, efficient, no upselling.

and i now have very clean teeth! with no cavities! and slightly dodgy gums. which is my own fault, quite frankly. i'm looking forward to having false teeth, so i can scare small children like my nan used to. i'd rather they appeared later in life, mind.


there was a chap on the tube, last night. sitting next to me. drinking white lightning (which is what i do sometimes) on his way out (which is what i do sometimes) to a football match (here we differ). you could feel the tension from the other commuters. he told a chap off for leaning on his head. fair enough.

he started asking me about my book. and my name. i thought for a second. was he really a d1ck? or was he just drunk (which is what i am sometimes) with the talkies (which is what i am sometimes)? we had a brief introduction. i stuck my head back in my book. then he started talking to the cute kid opposite and his mum. it was kinda sweet.

we hit finsbury park, i told him he was after the next stop and wished him well.

i don't know what i'm saying, or if i'm saying anything. drunk skinheads aren't all d1cks? befriend your local drunk?

i just had porridge for lunch.

- hard boiled egg
- chopped up salami
- chopped up baby plum tomatoes.

i love all those ingredients independently.

they did not gel together.

this is all.



(all links lead to facebook)


deptford beach babes cd and video launch on THURSDAY!

Warm up for spring with



With Special Guests:
Cha Cha Boom Boom
Contemporary Grotesque Comedy Performance Artist
And the fabulous Amanda Mae
DJ-ing ‘30's jazz to ’70's garage punk to anything in between - plus a very
special performance just for you!

First screening of new Lucy Thane video for the song “Laga Beach”, from the
new album “Sunbathing on a Vinyl Floor.”

And The Sunny Surfin’ Surprise RAFFLE!

The Stag’s Head
55 Orsman Road
London N1 5RA

15 minutes walk from Old Street tube. Buses 149, 67,
243, 242, 394



gentlemen's agreement at the wilmington on FRIDAY!

they are awesome. it is only £4 and £2 for laydeeez. more of this pricing structure, please.



flame rock night on THURSDAY

i really want to go to this. it's a shiny new thing. please go so there'll be more i can actually make!

how to economise with luncheon

1. take porridge oats from cupboard. (use by oct 2009. irrelevant.)
2. mix porridge oats with TAP WATER only and cook in microwave.
3. take scraggy end of broccoli and chop into diddy florets.
4. steam in microwave.
5. combine porridge and broccoli with domino pizza hot sauce dip you found lying around in the fridge.
6. eat. enjoy.

(it wasn't that bad, actually.)

(and i still have fruit.)

(and a stolen 'ainsley harriot heaven' bar or similar that belongs to d)

(fvck off, ainsley harriot!)


Mar. 1st, 2010

in retrospect, opening minesweeper and noticing someone else had the high score on expert was never going to ensure a productive start to the week.


today i had porridge again with curried cabbage, but also with feta cheese.

it was alright. i think a different cheese would have been preferable, but the feta is at work and needs eating. (NO WASTE!)


i have not thought of an appropriate thing to give up for lent this year.
(2009 = meat
2008 = </s>? hmmm i can't remember</s> takeaways (thanks tinytear!)
2007 = pints)

it will not be porridge



yes, porridge for lunch today. with curried cabbage and little pieces of smoked bacon.

not much of an 'experiment' as i've had it with the cabbage before and liked it, but very tasty nonetheless.

it'd probably work well with lamb instead of bacon too, but bacon was what needed eating up, so bacon it was.

(no i will not just go and get a curry)

things i urge you to do

listen to tom wrigglesworth's open letter to richard branson* on radio 4.

a) tom is VERY GOOD at being VERY FUNNY.
b) tom is VERY GOOD at being LOVELY.
c) tom has MOST EXCELLENT hair.

(if i was any good at pimping i'd remember what date it's supposed to be on, all i can remember is that it'll be on at 11pm. contains swears.)

(i saw this recorded on tuesday** and had a stupid grin on my face and sore hands after.)


NRF gig saturday.***


SOUTH LONDONERS! the deptford beach babes play the grosvernor in brixton on saturday 20th feb!


NORTH / EAST LONDONERS! the deptford beach babes will be having an CD LAUNCH at the stag's head! free in. live music will be over by 11pm. (11th March!)




(i ate some bacon jam this morning. IT WAS GOOD.)

*how he got arrested for FIGHTING THE MAN on a train and helping old ladies.
**thanks diamond_geyser!
***must purchase ticket

bacon jam

"to make bacon jam, first, you must create the universe." - not quite carl sagan.

in fact, to make bacon jam, first you must buy a load of bacon. i found a bacon joint in waitrose (hush now) on sunday which seemed cheaper than buying lots of sliced bacon. (in retrospect pre-sliced bacon would have been SO MUCH easier. and i probably wouldn't have a hole in my finger.)

also, to make bacon jam, you need a decent casserole type pot. ah. this may have been the most expensive bacon jam i will ever make. but hey, at least i now own a decent pot!

also also, to make bacon jam, you need a lot of time. a good 3 hours or so. still, it's all a good evening's entertainment, no?

most importantly, one needs a recipe. i've been eyeing one up on a food blog for months. (not quite nigella. google it!)

so with my new pot, and some bacon, sugar, maple syrup, cider, tabasco, coffee, water, onion and garlic i made bacon jam.

AND THEN i sterilised some jars (soapy clean, boiling rinse, oven dry) and popped the tasty goodness in.

how productive! how cottage industry! how very easy!


i have not yet eaten the jam properly, perhaps later. initial taste test indicates lovely barbeque flavour, not too sweet, very bacony. could probably have stood more tabasco.


i have had to entertain myself, the last few days. d seems to have some sort of sleeping sickness. have also managed to polish off season 4 of law & order. 18 to go!


i have had a most excellent weekend, involving as it did drinks in bristol, black plastic, a lovely morning spent drinking, bowling, pub dinner and rowing, but DERE LORD, if 2 day hangovers are my punishment I SURRENDER RIGHT NOW.

you might say i almost threw up in a boat. i couldn't possibly comment.

(in other news last month i have spent:
18 days dry
4 days moderate
9 days ahahahahaha)


in retrospect, getting home *after* karaoke and doing shots of polish vodka probably wasn't the best idea.

neither was oversleeping this morning. (still, despite only waking at leaving-the-house-o'clock i managed a shower, egg and bacon sandwich (NECESSARY) and only 25mins late.)

not convinced i have the stamina for my bristol / black plastic round trip this evening, but i shall give it my best vodka SHOT. i hope to see y'all at BP later, yes/yes?

songs sung:
land of make believe - NOT SUNG STILL BROKEN. BAD LUCKY VOICE.
don't stop - fleetwood mac
don't let me down - beatles
swinging on a star - big dee irwin
wonderboy - tenacious d

oh yeah, and for some reason dr hilary was singing 'sweet caroline' for dancing on ice this weekend. if you watch it, you may well see us swaying in the background. my price, if you are interested, is one large glass of red and some extra singing time.


plus / minus

- being rubbish at poker
- not enough poker!
- mobile deciding to stop making noise again
- discovering mobile not making noise via lack of alarm
- over sleeping
- skanky no shower
- forgetting luncheon ingredients
- headache
- missing out on ebay stuffs

+ friday!
+ pay day!
+ i guess i'll just have to have a TASTY SANDWICH
+ beatles awesomeness. you've probably seen it already
+ i love my shoes more than LIFE
+ mooners end of the month. does anyone fancy it? i will allow myself obliteration for HOWLING AT THE MOON

on balance, negative.
much as i rather desperately want this (and regret not buying this and assorted other tat in boots at christmas) i refuse to purchase ANYTHING from someone who cannot spell 'Spock'.

ignore me. i'm either blinded my anger, simply blind, simply simple, or i've lost me link.

(anyway, it said 'spoke'.)

Jan. 20th, 2010

the office smells of actual paint today, it's delicious. (to smell, i mean, i haven't tasted it. yet.)


is it bad to be dreaming of getting home and tasty dinner already? really? lunch fail again. remembered to pick up fruit x3, forgot to pick up roast veg for couscous. i *could* have plain cous cous, but really, no.


bright club last night was BRILLIANT. the combination of METAL (\m/), scientists and men with gold penises worked perfectly. and there were plenty of teases at my favourite songs. i need more metal in my life.


another reason i'm looking forward to home, is that the last episode of season 3 of l&o awaits me! whooo! i've (almost) managed 3 years worth of telly in 3 months! only another 284 odd hours to go! that's, er, only 12 whole days..... oh dear.


(no, i don't have much to say for myself at the moment. trauma, trauma, who am i if i am not a sozzled old hag?)

i'm sparing you most of it. yesterday i almost posted about whether i should by a pair of choos or a maine coon. ahem.


consume, consume, consume!

saw sherlock holmes last night. it was jolly good indeed! though robert downey jnr does appear to be ageing into lovejoy, which is a bit worrying. and it's very guy ritchie. but it works.


also, as i may have told some of you before, holmes was really james watson. at least if you believe the sanctuary, which i have also been obsessively watching. [there were 5 scientists. they injected pure vampire blood. something or other griffin (not important, dead) became the invisible man. james watson (dna, holmes) found his (already huge) intellect increased. developed science(!!) to help him live for centuries. helen (main character in show, 'abnormal' benefactor) stopped ageing. john druit (aka jack the ripper, also long life via injecting helen's blood) gained the ability to teleport. and nikola tesla (yes that one) became a vampire.

seriously. you have to love that sort of insane television.

in the last episode of the 2nd series (HOW DARE YOU END ON A CLIFFHANGER??) they were trying to calm a giant sea beast that can move tectonic plates, who turned out to be kali. and if you were connected to her, you can talk to her. but only if you do a little dance. and then it all went bollywood. I LOVE THIS SHOW. I NEED MORE.


i've also been reading rather than snoozing on the tube. i can heartily recommend the steep approach to garbadale by iain banks. it doesn't seem to be going anywhere, told mostly in flashbacks that don't necessarily fit together, and the pull-back-reveal isn't quite as much of a shock as expected, but the characters and their lives matter.


i'm now reading prachett, something i have long avoided. ok, so it isn't discworld, but still. challenge your prejudices! or, er, read whatever's on the shelves you haven't read yet...



it would appear most of london is not in work this week.
it would appear i'm not seeing paul mccartney tonight.


the tubes are lovely and empty!
the sign at finsbury park this morning said "Oh, please - mind the slippery surface".
a woman on the tube clearly had a worse forehead injury than mine requiring plasters.
THIS is my favourite christmas song. enjoy.


elphaba, mwahaha
no two hedgehogs are ever the same
animal fun

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